There seemingly is two "I am's" that you experience as the Self.
I AM (Spirit) that I am (mind) - I am that I am. The true Self and the reflection - avatar of the true Self.
“And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you” - Exodus 3:7–8, 13–14.
The false, temporary, or illusionary "I am" which is the mind, is what I call Reflected Conscious (I) Awareness (am) which is reflection of our true Self. Our true Self is Consciousness (I) being Awareness (Am). Awareness is the activity or body of Consciousness. Both are Unmanifest, therefore, beyond the minds ability to control. You could liken this in a way to you which is the real 'I Am' standing in front of a mirror looking at your reflection which is the false or temporary I am. Within the mirror is another world that you yourself cannot inhabit, so you project yourself into the reflection. This is how in principle; I am that I am operates. Spirit lives within the mind as the activity of Awareness. Well - that is what it seems like. In truth, the mind lives within the womb of Awareness and Awareness lives within Consciousness. Kind of like Russian dolls.
In order to know Thy Self as Awareness beyond the Consciousness of Mind, one must first feel and locate their sense of Presence. One must sit in their I am-ness until one feels - knows - this is all I am. Put another way, the Conscious Mind, aka Inner I, which is what you use to think with, and which is what most identify as, rolls out of the Subconscious like a wave for various reasons. You have to keep this Inner I (Thought) in the Subconscious which is the vessel for Soul aka Awareness. This is the door to the Spiritual Realm. The Subconscious is also always in all ways in and AS the Present Moment. Marinating in and as this Awareness is the road less travelled. This is the way back home to realizing the true and eternal I Am of Thy Being, so that when you die of this mind/body, it will not be a shock but just another chapter in your eternal existence. Moreover, naturally one ceases to live in fear. One loses all sense of attachment to mental and physical manifestations.
Because the Inner I aka Conscious Mind is focused or paying attention to the outside of itself aka the world, it beholds physicality instead of Spirituality (One's true Self), therefore recreates history by virtue of holding the world within Mind. Whatever is held in mind will eventually be held in the body and/or the body of the world. The Ego uses the eyes of flesh to determine its reality. The Realized uses itself as the Inner I to keep very still mentally, marinating in its Presence, so that it beholds the true and eternal I of Spirit which guides and informs the minds reality via intuition and/or through via Soul (Awareness) through synchronicity and serendipity.
On a final note, bear in mind that Soul aka Awareness is not an object, so one cannot focus on it like they do everything else. One's focus has to be an activity of being. Notice yourself noticing. It takes some getting used to, however this is the natural mind, so eventually, it will become effortless. Remember it takes approximately 3 months of intensely changing a behaviour consciously before the subconscious takes over making our new habit of being seem effortless.
~ Tracy Pierce
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